Christmas are approaching! Isn’t it time to celebrate? Not for just anyone. If you are single fearing getting alone during the holidays, your might want the festivities to help you pass as quickly as possible. “No time period of the year might be so dark, uncomfortable and annoying”, you tell yourself”; “If only I had someone to be with, things would have been different”, you whisper to help you yourself time and again.
The odds probably do not succeed in your favour! Therefore, it happens to be up to you to do something about your situation. Therefore, you may want to operate the holidays this year to figure out steps to create a change for next 365 days! How can you use this year’s holidays to become able to have a bond next year?
Or you might find out that you haven’t been successful locating a partner until now not because no “suitable” partner originated your way, but because you were definitely over-afraid about developing a long-term serious relationship (for 1 reason or another); or that you are so needy and dependent on whomever you ran out with that they terminated the partnership; or that you were thus controlling and demanding that a lot of of your dates just denied your attempts to getting better and maybe even to relocating together.
Use the holidays to figure out how not to get alone next year. You may realise that such advice is usually ridiculous. Why to think about following year when this year’s holidays are approaching? The reason is simple: if you have been one for a long time, what guarantee are you experiencing that you will not be one next year as well?
Using the holidays to think these over can certainly help you understand the true reasons for your failures. You might find, for example, there exists patterns of behaviors which repeat themselves throughout all your past-relationships which always caused conflicts between you and unfortunately your partners.
Using the holidays’ time for them to figure out what are the true causes of your inability to have a serious, meaningful, satisfying intimacy, is mostly a time well-spent. The topic you’ll gain will enable you to find a suitable partner by means of whom to develop and maintain a booming intimacy.
Why is you think that between now and then a miracle will happen and out-of-the-blue you will have a wonderful relationship? If you have been failing for having a wonderful relationship until recently, what are the odds that you will reach having one next year?
Could it really be that you just did all you could to find a partner with whom to formulate a good relationship but didn’t have luck? Well, all these can serve you as motives and rationalizations to not getting good results. But is it really the court case? Or could there be other reasons for your failed attempts? Could it be that something in you hinders and prevents you from developing a successful relationship?
The secret to make sure you doing so is developing Self-Awareness: getting to understand why you weren’t able to develop a successful intimacy so far; what made you fail in your relationships up to now. Is it really so that you basically didn’t come across partners who were good enough for you? Is it really so that there were “external conditions” which made it impossible that you develop and maintain a successful intimacy?